3/6/2025
Today has been a difficult day, as Spring is on the way and will be here in a few short weeks, I cannot help but think of how much David loved this time of year. He said it was like everything is new. He said it feels like a new start and nature seems happy. It reminds me of scripture, Revelation 21:5 Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said [a]to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”
1/17/2025
Today was Bittersweet. I got to meet the new director of a Teen Challenge that David attended and say goodbye to the director that was moving on, to Pastor fulltime. It was hard being there with recalling watching David graduate in 2019. However, God is still good, and I was able to share with them what a blessing they were to our family. Teen Challenge reminds me that God wants to restore our brokenness. For those who struggle with addiction, the road is often long. There are times of sobriety and times of relapse. What I see at Teen Challenge is the understanding of this process and road to recovery. I have learned that God’s grace is what carries us through no matter how many times we fall. What matters is that we get back up. Just because we struggle, fall, relapse again and again, does not change His love for us. Jesus died so we could live so we could have hope of a future no matter how many times we fall, fail or relapse. Here is something David wrote that I believe is a story of God’s grace and mercy for his children. If you struggle today, reach out for help. Don’t stop trying don’t give up.
From Pit to Praise-By David Unruh
Growing up immersed among the awe-inspiring power of the Holy Spirit, I fondly recall my earliest childhood memories. Watching cherished loved ones falling prostrate on the floor like dead men, being “slain” in the Spirit, I quickly learned reverence towards the awesome power of the third Person of the Trinity. Engulfed in the increasing crescendo of unknown languages, I watched in amazement as demure, little old ladies were transformed before my eyes into mighty spiritual giants. Feeling the soft, gentle, and loving touch of the Spirit tugging on my heart and a peace that reached deep down to my inner man, I watched as the Almighty tangibly manifested His awesome love and power to His children.
As each passing year steadily progressed though, I slowly began to push these memories to the background of my mind. More concerned with the arduous task of being a teenager, my focus changed from the Lord of Hosts to the “god” of this world. Slowly but surely, like the constant creep of a predator sneaking up on its prey, I put popularity, pride and greediness above what I knew to be true. With my steady decline progressing, I found myself making continual compromises in my moral character. As the Holy Spirit continued to convict me of my sins, I fatefully chose rebellion as the solution to my problems. Ultimately through my lifestyle of ardent resistance, I made myself into an enemy of the Almighty.
The first time I used drugs, I fell under their intoxicating spell. No longer did I have to face the overwhelming vice grip of worries that seemed to suffocate me to each near-death breath. I found my great escape. Within a matter of a few minutes, the worries of this world would fade and be replaced with an altered reality – a new world – a new me. No longer was I bound by the entanglements of my existence, I could find an elated happiness and unbridled freedom as the king of my own creation. As time progressed, I would soon come to find that my drug addiction and behavioral choices would place me in a bondage so strong and a pit so deep, that only a miracle could save me.
As I entered college, all bets were off. Once ranked the number two party school in the country, I fully embraced the liberal culture at Indiana University. Filled with piercingly loud music and the clank, clank, clank of empty beer bottles that rattled my thoughts, I recall my memories of starting my collegiate career. I would waste away many a night trapped in putrid, musky-smelling frat houses surrounded by drunken madness. With a never-ending social schedule, my studies became of minor importance compared to my fleshly desires. With often optimistic intentions, I routinely planned to study the following day, but found myself waking up late and too sick to focus. Fearing academic probation and the disappointment of my family, I turned to yet another quick fix that promised to answer all of my problems – the bottom of a pill bottle.
While my drug use varied in frequency, duration, and depth, each continual year I found myself trying new substances that resulted in deeper bondage. Struggling in solitude, I soon discovered that the world that I thought I had created on my own had already existed from millennia past. With each successive fling I took with my all-encompassing love, I found myself delving deeper and deeper into a dark, cold, and frightening existence. My entire concept of what was a normal reality began to fade – shattered by my newly created susceptibility to the demonic realm. With my defenses down, and prey to forces beyond my control, I became like some type of wounded animal – waiting on the eventual pounce of some unforeseen predator.
By divine providence, this dangerously dark and decrepit period in my life would also usher me into the most beautiful Light I had ever known. Through my entrance into the unseen and intangible spiritual world, I came to the glorious knowledge of His saving grace. Just as God moved all those years ago when I was younger, the power of the Holy Spirit indwells in me today. I will never forget the moment that the Lord blessed me with His precious gift of baptizing me in His Spirit. While worshipping the Lord and singing His praises during a service at Chicago Tabernacle, I felt as though a hand was resting on the top of my head. Filled with an overwhelmingly euphoric bliss, I knew I was in the presence of the mighty Jehovah Himself. All of the sudden, a language that I had never learned before, although similar to those of my childhood, began to bubble up within me like a river from my belly. At that moment I felt as though my spirit and His were entwined somehow in one. I knew that from that moment I would never be the same. His unfailing love, grace, and mercy transformed me from the lost and blind man I was to a sacrificial vessel that His Kingdom might shine through.
1/15/2015
Ambush Moment: Hello all, this is my first attempt at blogging, there is much I have to share. Today I will start by saying that I am forever grateful for both family and friends that have come along side me to encourage me, point me in the right direction and remind me that I am a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I also want to thank my heavenly Father for his love and his promise to never leave me or forsake me. Each day is a journey when your only child has passed. There are ups and downs good and bad days. Grief is always lurking. Below is something I wrote recently.
Grief: and there it was that dreaded wave of pain. Out of nowhere, standing in line to board the ship a long-awaited getaway, and I see them. Those shoes that young man is wearing right in front of me. There is a pair very similar, if not exactly like them sitting in my garage. Those tan hiking shoes that have not been worn in a while, they are even the same color and may even be the same size.
The young man in front of me suspects nothing, but the tears are beginning to flow. I bite my lip I cannot stop them, I turn my head and whisper, “I love you son.” Under my breath I cry out I love you Lord, I need you to strengthen me right now.” I have learned not to speak but just take deep breaths and fan myself. This keeps me from becoming a weeping heap curled up on the floor. Not now I think, this is not the place. This time there would be hundreds of witnesses. I feel the loving arms of my Heavenly Father and the curious ones of my loving husband. I put one foot in front of the other and step aboard.